hey yall. havent been posting at all. sorry ah. cos been caught up with work.. i dun feel that busy, tho im stressed out of my wits. but other things are bothering me. havent had any training. its making me feel super unfit. cos altho i traing myself.i never push myself hard enough. i think im on a self enforced ban cos i havent touched my guitar nor my hockey stick for quite a while. school's fine. i love my class. full of crappy people who love running in the morning in the rain. ((: haha. the hockey team has been rather divided. this has been bothering me abit.. but yeah. i feel that nothing drives me to be more friendly to them cos they seem happy in their clique. yupp. i wonder how u all are? when's our dg outing gonna be? ((: my exams are coming soon. so gotta mugg. whee. i actually sound happy. u know these few days got alot of people who wanna talk to me. and i just feel bad ignoring them cos thats what i do most of the time till my mood swings past. been having an anti social mood. i dunno. i feel more detached from church than ever. i mean yeah, i serve in all the commitees and stuff.. but i feel like i'm not contributing much to any of them. its a bad feeling yeah.. thinking whether i should start blogging again. hmm. we'll see. so much on my mind sometimes i think i might explode. oh well. seems like i need some sort of revival in my own life. let's hope the sisters retreat would help me in that area. (: haha.
hello sunshineok. another flood of thoughts. my friend was telling me about the situation in her cca... there's this girl badmouthing her because she's gonna be the next leader.my friend who's gonna be president was also saying that she's feeling the tension and stress of becoming the next president cos she's not 'in' in a sense. was just thinking wouldn't it be easier if cca was just another activity to enjoy.. and playing hockey or anything else were a passion, instead of including politics into the picture making everyone so divided and competitive, if u can't trust ur own team then how are we gonna stand together when the going gets tough?
just a thought. yupp. things happen. and i wanna be a tracker.. and run away from all the problems rather than face it and amplify the matter. so many things running thru my head.. things i should do and should take care of, things i ruin and things i can't help but spoil. i feel like i'm feeding myself with more head knowledge rather than experience God and know Him more than just a figure in the bible. the Christians in cj dun really stand up to defend what the catholics and non christians throw our way.. accusations that are generalising our faith... i feebly try to defend myself.. but well. its hard. cos some Christians even go clubbing, badmouth people, use vulgarities... its bad. but what can i do? ): sigh.
anyway. thats about all for me. i miss u all alot. then again.. lets haf a dg outing soon yeah? (: can't wait.
i am yen's fake smile.training today was cancelled. i woke at 530 to rush to school for class morning run. it was pouring and my pe rep said it was cancelled. so ended up running in the rain with 3 guys behind a group of odac people. i think running in the rain is therapeutic. had all the 5th level hockers looking at me like i was crazy to run in the rain so early in the morning. but that kept me happy for a while. (: work's piling up. and teachers are leaving. how timely. my coach cancelled training. ): i was looking forward to it so much. sigh. in the end came home to self train.. run, do passes in the air well. being as hockey obsessed as i am.. (: couldn't stand it when my neighbour's annoying kid began throwing popcorn at me.
rarr. hmm. i've changed alot. i know that. and i want to come back to God and experience Him again. cos other than this front i put on... i feel empty. and i know it is a voi only God can fill. sigh.
sorry for being so negative guys. just upset over certain things and been busy. ): hope yall are well.
ethel! of course we'll be there!! i wouldn't miss ur baptism! ((: