hey! decided to blog since today i'm rather free. got some time before i go to work with ethel. (: talking to jiashu but he disappeared. nvm. hmm..well. today was supposed to go music min mtg and evaluation for the PARTS event.. but i didn't. dunno why. i feel i need more rest. to clear my head. cos it seems like everything is trying to squeeze back in. i dunno. (let's count the number of 'i dunno's.) well. after andrew's lesson i feel more confused and tired of thinking. i feel like i've been too self righteous and self serving that i am too expectant. oh well. life goes on. and maybe i am beginning to think that blogging is a total fluke. but people have told me that if i dun blog, then they wouldn't know what's happening in my life. let's see... i dun mean to be self righteous or anything. but still, it irritated me how much i cling onto people and things. as in like... i never turn to God.? and i was thinking that i needed time to seek God. and seems like i'm not getting down to doing it. but the irony is probably that i want to have qt everyday now more than ever. and when i do.. i feel so much better. guess its becoming evident that a day without God is diastrous.
hmm. i dun mean to be hypocritical. but sometimes. things get on my nerves. i am beginning to feel like everything is gonna burst inside me.and well, i feel fake, going around looking normal.. but when do u draw the line? dun u think that u cant be of much help when u are like down all the time? i dunno.
whee.. this is holiday week. and i feel like it is still the hols. haha. can't wait till school starts. think i'm becoming too emotionally attached to the things now. so maybe it will do me some good to wake up at 5 in the morning and actually do some socialising and get my brain working again and to do something productive. whee. then all the tendencies will come running back, will i embrace them?
the contradiction.anyway, haf fun!! and we must meet. rosey, i really like ur guitar! (: haha. one day should go beach or something then can bring along. haha. cya. -yen.